Marriage is one the longest surviving social institutions in human history. Its meaning is deeply embedded in social and cultural norms. Political and economic structures, religious doctrines have historically shaped its meaning and function. It is also closely linked with how property, sexuality and social hierarchy is regulated in a society. In many pre-modern societies, marriage served as a strategic alliance between families or clans, reinforcing hierarchies of class, caste, and gender (Coontz, 2005). Women’s bodies and reproductive capacities are often central to this institution, making marriage a key site for control of inheritance and social continuity. Social acceptance/contracts, practised among indigenous societies became legalized through documentary evidence and governance frameworks, once legal regulations became a part of modern governance.
Traditionally, marriage has always been embedded in patriarchal social structures that privilege male authority. The normative expectation that a woman must leave her paternal home after marriage is often accompanied by dowry, symbolically and materially reinforcing her displacement, dependency, and subordinate position within the marital household. Drawing on classical sociological perspectives (Kapila, 2017) and region-specific ethnographic studies, this article approaches marriage as a dynamic practice which is contingent on culture and histories. Building upon Uttam Narah’s study on the “transition and adaptation of traditional Mising wedding rituals in the contemporary era,”, I seek to critically understand the different forms of Mising marriages, from a feminist perspective and throw open some observations for further debates. In doing so, I see the marriage forms as cultural practice which respond to processes of change, negotiation and internal critiques within those periods.
Rethinking ‘Marriage’ through Mising Practices
Marriage forms have evolved within the Mising community over centuries. While there are varied forms, I highlight two forms to highlight a feminist positioning, which prioritizes equality and agency. These forms offer an alternative way of imagining marriage. Rather than positioning marriage as a transaction, an institution of patriarchy, certain forms of Mising marriage place the ‘burden’ of adjustment, labour, and social integration upon the male partner.
One of the most significant departures from the dominant Indian norm is the practice of “Magbo Dugnam/Dulam,’’ (Payeng, 2021) wherein the prospective husband is required to reside with and serve his future in-laws for an extended period, which may sometimes move from months to years. This period of service at the prospective wife’s house is not merely symbolic; it functions as a sustained evolution of the man’s character, labour ethic, and commitment. The nature of the labour performed by the prospective husband during the period of bride service is not fixed but varies according to the specific needs of the household and the seasonal rhythm of Mising life. In most cases, however, these tasks are closely tied to subsistence practices central to a riverine community. Agricultural labour, particularly wet-rice cultivation, field preparation and post-harvest activities forms a core component of this service.
Ethnographic interactions and interviews conducted in a Mising village further revealed the symbolic dimension of this evaluation period. Informants noted that, in many cases, the prospective husband was required to sleep outside the main residential space, often on the (Tungeng) veranda/front porch of the house. Only upon earning the collective trust and approval of the woman and her family is the marriage sanctioned. Here, the woman is not treated as a passive object of exchange; rather, the woman and her family retain social authority, and marital legitimacy is conditional upon the man’s demonstrated worth. This practice also challenges the widespread patriarchal assumption that women must prove their sustainability as wives through obedience, domestic labour and endurance. Instead, the burden of proof is transferred to the male partner, effectively reversing the gendered moral economy of marriage. At the same time this reversal may unintentionally sustain the idea of male provision, thereby reconfiguring rather than eliminating gendered expectation
Equally significant is the system of ‘bride price’, a nominal ritual, prevalent within indigenous Mising society, which stands in sharp contrast to the dowry system dominant across much of India. Dowry has been argued to operate as a form of economic violence that commodifies women and reinforces the idea of viewing daughters as financial liabilities. Bride price, by contrast, acknowledges the economic and social value of women’s labour and presence within the household. The system of bride price is popularly known as “Alig la:nam” amongst the tribe. There is no fixed amount of bride price to which the groom is obligated. Historically, bride price was rendered in kind, often comprising goods, livestock, and other material exchange.
While ‘bride price’ should not be romanticized uncritically, its existence within the Mising society attempts to alter the direction of economic transfer and symbolically resists the devaluation of women that dowry institutionalizes, however within the feminist discourse, bride price has also been critiqued as a form of ‘commodification’ wherein women risk being symbolically reduced to objects of exchange between kin groups.
Although the practice of ‘Magbo dugnam’ as a popular marriage form is no longer valid in the modern Mising society, it still reveals an alternative gender arrangement. Rather than viewing tribal societies as less developed or pre-modern, this case of Mising marriages compels a rethinking of how gender, justice, agency, and relation power can be historically and culturally constituted outside the dominant caste-Hindu framework. These practices not only challenge the homogenization of “Indian womanhood’’ but also expose how colonial and nationalist narratives have marginalized non-patriarchal marital forms that do not conform to dominant social imaginaries.
Another form of marriage that is prevalent amongst the community is “dugla la:nam”, which is a socially sanctioned elopement that resonates with contemporary notions of romantic choice and individual agency. In such a case, the couple elope by mutual consent, and after a few days of elopement, a formal communication is sent from the groom’s family to the bride’s house, initiating a collective process of reconciliation and negotiation. Representatives from both families convene to deliberate and settle the terms of the “bride price’’ (alíg la: nam) thereby restoring social legitimacy to the union. The practice of dugla la: nam is noteworthy from a feminist lens for the degree of agency and autonomy it accords to the women. The initiation of marriage through elopement is contingent upon mutual consent and there is no ritualised mechanism through which family authority can override the women’s choice once the relationship has been acknowledged thus eliminating the dictates of a patriarchal control. Moreover, unlike dominant caste-Hindu marriage systems, which are heavily regulated by the norms of caste, ritual purity and patriarchal surveillance, Mising marriages are not governed by caste hierarchies. Marriage within the community is structured instead by kinship rules and clan considerations, which function as social rather than ritual restrictions.
Marriage forms within the community have also been shaped by its interactions with other societies and modernity. For instance, a form of ‘arranged marriage’ is also prevalent within the community. ‘Midang’, however, cannot be just confined to an arranged marriage but is a formalization of mutual consent or relationship, as seen in other parts of India. Within the Mising community, also existed “sola la:nam” (marriage by capture) which refers to a form of union in which a woman was forcibly taken to a man’s household and the marriage ritual subsequently formalized. Historical and ethnographical accounts suggest that this practice was present within the earlier phase of Mising society. In the present times, this practice has largely disappeared and is neither socially sanctioned nor culturally legitimized by the Mising society. Its decline reflects a broader transformation in gender norms,
Conclusion
Marriage forms in the Mising community highlight critical co-existence of multiple forms. The existence of Dugla Lanam, highlights agency and consent, while the abandoning of forms like Sola Lanam highlights the community’s acceptance of egalitarian principles by leaving behind coercive practices. However, there are also forms that align with ‘mainstream norms’. Marriage rituals have become more expensive, practices like dowry (though not specially mentioned) are slowly creeping in, often normalised under the socially acceptable guise of ‘gifts’ to the bride. The prevailing forms provide us with an alternative way to look at marriage and the evolution of societal norms itself. Our focus, instead of indigenous societies as inherently egalitarian, is to understand how cultural and social interactions, history and education transform various social institutions and propose ways for communities to move towards becoming more egalitarian societies.
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